I am writing about certain passages in my life - in
which I learned essential things about the nature of the multiverse and how to
operate within it - in a narrative style that I hope will grip the reader of my next book while being
true to my experiences. This involves reading, transcribing and harvesting from
my journals over many decades. There are fantastic dramas here, mythic trouble
(and delight) and tremendous trans-temporal adventures in which sometimes I
enter the situation of my counterparts in other times, and sometimes they join
me in mine. We bring each other gifts and challenges, allies and adversaries from
other times and other worlds.
I feel sympathy and compassion as I monitor how younger Roberts tried to make sense of all this while lacking any really helpful mentor in this reality, and how they struggled to keep body and soul together on the roads of this world. I wonder, as I consider how “past” and “future” aspects of myself looked in on each other and sent each other mental texts, whether my present acts of observation are changing things in, say, 1987-1988.
That thought quickens my interest in these journals that are not really old; they confirm the idea that the only time is always Now and that all our pasts and futures and probable reality are accessible in the moment of Now, and can be re-visioned and revised for the better.
I am in a treasure cave. But as in the Indiana Jones type of adventure where the floor gives way and the roof starts to fall when you touch a precious object, there are rather strict limits to how long I can safely remain in the cave, and how much I can bring out, on each visit. So I move softly and slowly, tiptoeing around the floor in a kind of hopscotch rather than plodding up and down, taking a little from the chest over there, then something from the one on the other side. A hawk feather, a cylinder of light, a Celtic cloak pin, a flying carpet.
I feel sympathy and compassion as I monitor how younger Roberts tried to make sense of all this while lacking any really helpful mentor in this reality, and how they struggled to keep body and soul together on the roads of this world. I wonder, as I consider how “past” and “future” aspects of myself looked in on each other and sent each other mental texts, whether my present acts of observation are changing things in, say, 1987-1988.
That thought quickens my interest in these journals that are not really old; they confirm the idea that the only time is always Now and that all our pasts and futures and probable reality are accessible in the moment of Now, and can be re-visioned and revised for the better.
I am in a treasure cave. But as in the Indiana Jones type of adventure where the floor gives way and the roof starts to fall when you touch a precious object, there are rather strict limits to how long I can safely remain in the cave, and how much I can bring out, on each visit. So I move softly and slowly, tiptoeing around the floor in a kind of hopscotch rather than plodding up and down, taking a little from the chest over there, then something from the one on the other side. A hawk feather, a cylinder of light, a Celtic cloak pin, a flying carpet.
I did this exact thing last year, Robert, when I was writing my memoir of three decades of dreaming, and I've really enjoyed your description of the remarkable experience of revisiting one's earlier dreaming self and finding such treasures in the old journals.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this perfectly timed article. Immediately before coming across your blog I had just finished a letter to another writer about how apprehensive to do the very thing you are doing, even though I feel steadily compelled by my inner voice.
ReplyDeleteHow did you overcome your fear of confronting your past selves?
How do you navigate the emotional roller-coaster as you dive back in to retrieve the truth and self you left in your stories?
Arianna, These are excellent questions. The short answer is: by remembering to maintain the perspective of the self that has come through it all, and hopefully is a little wiser, and maybe able to see patterns that weren't visible in earlier dramas and transitions. It's rather like making the journey to a younger self for which I provide guidance and examples in my book "Dreaming the Soul Back Home." Of course, we may find in journals of long ago that we had knowledge them that we had quite forgotten until this treasure hunt! (This is a very frequent discovery for me).
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